King's edge Lancers to bring home the festive cheer
By Chris Hogwood
A festive match report and player ratings by Ratty - to the tune of Band Aid's 'Do they know it's Christmas?'. We love Lancers really.
It’s Christmas time, now’s when Lancers feel afraid
At Christmas time, we’re just happy Ready played.
And in our world of rugby, there was very little joy
Throw your arms around the tac-kle, Williams!
But say a prayer, pray for the Lancers pack
At scrummage time it’s just King's that are having fun
There’s a line out to be stolen
And it’s one we have again
Where the only damage flowing
Was Jack’s errant throwing pain
And the weather was atrocious
As was Dave’s passing too
Well tonight thank god Hardie has got good hands!
And there won’t be wins in Lancer’s box this Christmas time.
They’ll get a losing bonus point that's all (woooooo)
King's tackling was fine
Oaks, stay behind the line
Do you know the offside rule at alllllllllllll?
Here’s to King's raise a glass for everyone
Here’s Andre back from the burning sun
Kings are the best London team of allllllllllll!
Merry Christmas lads!
With added festive player ratings
1. KS - did his job, made his tackles. Get lower in the scrum 6
2. JM - didn’t go down injured as per which was refreshing. Two not straight as per the ref. Think red had a few Xmas snifters at half time for the second one - 6
3. CW Solid, boring - pretty Scottish. Hope his nose is ok - 6
4. TR - The man, the legend. Despite being out for about 12 years, still got it. 6.5
5. NO- To be fair not too bad. Stole a few line outs. Better ref would have killed him for being offside more often than Beamer’s chat is  lame. Left a few gaps for. Not his position to be fair so well done stepping up - 5.99
6. TW - Best 6 we’ve had since Brian. Decent 6.75
7. GW - cemented his place as the 3rd best 7 still playing. Great in the tackle. We’ll teach him how to jackal. 8
8. NS - big, got us good front foot. Classic Stanley. 7
9. DW - conditions awful but not too bad at the base. 5.75
10. JH - caught a lot of DW’s fairly ‘low’ passes. A Kiwi but kicks like Beauden rather than Carter. That one in front of the sticks was fucking awful. Still not too bad - 6
11. JB - not a game for wingers but did what was asked
12 - IW strong running, decent in defence. Got away with a fair few high ones - 7.25
13 - JB - much better than I ever remembered him at uni. Strong in attack and did made his tackles. Dropped a few, as did everyone, but people need to remember he has hands like a T-Rex at the best of times, let alone in this. 6
14. AH - having just come back from 25 degrees heat he was ok. Did well to draw the man and set Ready away for our only try - 6.5
15. JR - Normally has hands like  dodos but was solid under kicks despite the weather. Great finish for the try and slotted two important kicks. MOTM for me - 8.98
16. WB - 6
Gummy & Ollie - horrible day and didn’t moan about not getting on - 9